What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Have you ever regretted not hitting on a older women?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

How do I seduce a maid for sex?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

What are the beliefs of those who think climate change is a conspiracy theory? What do they predict will happen if we do not address it?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Can you write a letter to your first love without mentioning his/her name?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What are some common examples of human hypocrisy?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

How do I stop my 12-year-old daughter from crying herself to sleep? I have punished her and she still does it.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Is there any evidence to support the existence of people who have experienced "gangstalking"? Or is it a psychological phenomenon?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

My boyfriend has a major problem/addiction with watching porn, nude/sex scenes on movies and shows, watching hot young girls on tiktok, Instagram, Twitter, and onlyfans. He hides it and lies about it. Should I be concerned with him cheating? What do?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why should we share our wife with others?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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Why do untreated borderlines always blame their partners when they actually think they are normal?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Make Nazis afraid again!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

My cantankerous beagle is very badly behaved at the dog park and always starts barking at the other dogs. Would pepper spray be an effective method to correct his inappropriate behavior?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!